C'est L'Halloween

Instead of my usual revelry for Halloween, I am heading home to Maine to relax and hand out candy to cute kids that live in my parents' neighborhood. There's something about this year that doesn't inspire me to come up with a costume and run wild on All Hallow's Eve. Many of my friends have ingenious costumes and I wish them all the best as they celebrate the magic and playfully sinister highlights of the autumnal season. Happy Halloween!

Image found here.

It Could Be

We live in such an introspective time. It seems that never before have we had the luxury to spend so much time thinking [about ourselves, mostly]. Not just the amount of time we have but the number of people - a whole society - that have this opportunity to "soul-search" or "enter the path towards self-actualization." Some days, I feel like that is all I have: time. And yet, the world shows me how quickly it all goes and how precious each seemingly monotonous moment can be. I, like many of my gender, am an overthinker. So much so, that I think my perpetual exhaustion as of late is due to my overthinking. This week I have felt completely immobile on what direction to take my life (yes, Zach, perhaps this is my quarter-life crisis rearing its cruel, pugnacious head). Sometimes I feel as though my life is the movie Sideways with my current life and then the one I could have were I to make different choices (I know, I could drive myself mad thinking this way).

There are moments where I feel like I am standing on the sidelines or on a hill, watching people go by me. This must be normal, but it still feels strange and worrying. I hope it passes soon. I know it will, but for now, it feels like Great Aunt Agatha who came for a week-long visit and ended up staying six months.

Image found here.

Through The Wall

There's something about that time just before you kiss. Just before your hands touch. There is this dwindling space between you and the object of your desire. Your bodies lean in with expectation and passion. I love that prelude. All the lust is bound up in those leading moments. In the scene below from Bright Star, there is an actual wall between John Keats and Fanny Brawne, but the barrier only enhances the fervency of their affection in my mind.

Autumn Light

{Golden lights shimmering amidst the fading day}

Autumn is a time when the world falls toward a darker inclinations that are illuminated by small, warm lights. This votive lantern from Fey Handmade connotes the essence of autumn light for me with its reddish hues against a backdrop of evening that encroaches ever sooner on these October days.

Sabrina, Fair

{Harrison Ford and Julia Ormond in the 1995 film Sabrina}

“Once upon a time, on the north shore of Long Island, not far from New York, there was a very, very large mansion, almost a castle, where there lived a family by the name of Larrabee. There were servants inside the mansion, and servants outside the mansion; boatmen to tend the boats, and six crews of gardeners: two for the solarium, the rest for the grounds, and a tree surgeon on retainer. And over the garage there lived a chauffeur by the name of Fairchild, imported from England years ago, together with a Rolls Royce; and a daughter, named Sabrina.”

{Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart in the 1954 film version of Sabrina}

Do you have certain rituals for a particular season? I do. An example is that I only watch certain movies at specific times of the year. In winter, I watch all the Jane Austen movies (like Sense and Sensibility or Mansfield Park) because they all showcase an English spring, which warms my heart in those spare, frigid months. In autumn, I watch the 1995 film version of Sabrina. While I love the original version starring Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart, there is something about the 1995 remake that connotes the perfect tone of fall. Perhaps this is due to John William's haunting and luxurious soundtrack, the stunning sets and cinematography, the scenes in Paris, or the marvelous cast of actors including Harrison Ford, Julia Ormond, Greg Kinnear, Lauren Holly, Angie Dickinson, and French stars Fanny Ardant and Patrick Bruel.

The first time I saw this movie was in the fall, which is probably how the tradition began. I also went to Paris for the first time during the month of October. The combination of the movie's elements creates a peaceful, relaxing appreciation within me that I somehow connect to this time of year. The movie also makes me want to run away to Paris and work for Vogue. Now all that has to happen is that my father has to become a chauffeur to Carine Roitfeld's (editor of the French Vogue) best friend and then she has to take pity on me and make the right connection with Mme. Roitfeld. C'est simple!

{A shot of the Pont Des Arts in Paris - where I wish I was this minute!}

Images found here, here and here.

My Wild Things

Last evening I saw Spike Jonze's film of Where The Wild Things Are - an unexpected cinematic experience that felt less like watching a movie and more like traveling to a place that I had not visited in a long time. The film interprets Maurice Sendak's book well and in a way that brings the viewer to a world that is quiet, rough-hewed, primordial. Watching it, I relaxed into the unconventional nature of the film and this island of wild things visually offered by Jonze's direction. As Max and the Wild Things run through the woods, I longed to join them, letting my hair fly untangled and free behind me. When I was kid, I loved to run. I still love it but as a younger version of myself, I really felt my power when I ran (my theory is why walk when you can run). Watching this movie, I found pieces of my power return to me. By power, I mean that frame of mind where you are wholly yourself and feeling charged by your place in the world.

This movie is not a children's movie. It's a movie for everybody (in my opinion, for kids over the age of 10) who wants to visit "a place where only the things you want to happen, would happen." Just where I needed to be.

Image found here.

President Obama Arrives

President Obama spoke at MIT this afternoon and I had the chance to see his motorcade drive down to the building at which he was scheduled to speak. It was some kind of thrilling to see the place in lockdown, all the cops looking stately and serious. It made me really appreciate the grandeur and honor of his position. Smiles spread across everyone's faces as they watched the motorcade go by and a positive energy hung in the brisk fall air. I think this sense of peace and renewed confidence in the American possibility is enough to warrant the receiving of the Nobel Peace Prize. I acknowledge the criticism of the president's win - it being premature and unfounded compared to the accomplishments of others. But President Obama's election shows an achievement of the American people to push beyond their fears and inhibitions and vote for the individual who is best suited for the job, regardless of superficial reasons. That is worthy of an award, which was won for us all.

{The Obamas on Inauguration Day - photo by Annie Leibovitz}

For the full set of Leibovitz images taken of the Obama administration for Vanity Fair, click here.

Blush

Friends, I am in search of all things blush (a clothing color, not the embarrassing facial hue that overtakes my face whenever I pass by a cute young gent)! I love the gentle romance of blush - especially on a dress of chiffon or silk.

Here are some pretty examples of my blush ambitions:

{This Geren Ford top - and ruffles too!}

{Katie Holmes' ruffled collar in blush silk and chiffon = I must have it!}

{Emily Blunt in a beige/ blush dress that I just love!}

{Penelope Cruz's 2007 Oscar dress by Atelier Versace - such romance!}

The first photo is courtesy of sweetblue photography and can be found here. Other images are found here, here, here, and here.

A Bouquet of Sharpened Pencils

I saw this photo and it made me want to watch You've Got Mail!

Then, I thought of my favorite line from the movie, where Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) emails Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) and says, "Don't you just love fall? It makes me want to shop for back to school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."

I know what I'll be watching tonight!

Image found here, here, and here.

The Comfort of Movies

Yesterday, my life just felt a little too real. I needed a break from it all. So, come quittin' time, I did the thing that always makes me feel better: going to the movies! I ventured over to a nearby movie theater to see New York, I Love You. I adored Paris, Je t'aime and was curious to see the NYC iteration. It was just the ticket for my mood as the film really set the scene of the city nicely and I was able to get lost in vignettes, little pockets of tender humanity. I love going to the movies. I get this from my mother, who has pretty much seen every movie that is not in the horror/sci-fi/action/thriller genres. There is rarely a time that I go home and we don't end up at the local movie theater.

The feeling of being in a darkened theater with this huge screen before you, flashing glamorous depictions of how happy, how sad, how scary, how glorious life can be. Movies represent possibility. They excite with their scale and sound. Watching a movie in the theater, you become part of story, closely connected to the characters (providing it's not Dude, Where's My Car?). For two hours or so, you cease to live your normal existence and instead travel to New York, Paris, Tuscany, or... to where the wild things are. You can be anyone you want and sometimes I feel at most myself while watching a movie. It's almost like being at church- where all your thoughts are contained by the collective silence and reflection and you become part of something larger than yourself.

Image found here.

Two-Toned Tights

The new version of Fame is a blast to watch! The acting is not going to win any awards but the music and dancing inspires as does the overall message of trying to be the best you can be. And fashionably-speaking, my top moment was realizing there is such a thing as two-toned tights! I think these are so sharp! Not really work-appropriate, but totally sexy for wearing out on the town! And I found an inexpensive pair here!

Image found here.

It's Your Power

"Everything you want to change about yourself. All the parts of yourself that you keep secret. It's your power. It's who you are." ~ Fame

Life feels really hard these days. I think I have lost my "power." Things are not turning out as I had imagined them. In fact, things feel like they are falling apart. This is where you say that I have to embrace what I have been given. Don't mistake me - I am fortunate in so many spaces of my life and I know my life could be so much worse. But let's put that in a little box for a moment.

I grew up with this image of who I wanted to be as an adult. This image was fed and encouraged by others in my life - my parents, my teachers, mentors along the way. I have dreams, visions of how great my life can be. There have been slight alterations along the way but I always knew that I wanted a job where I believe in the goodness what I was doing and that this job - my time - could make better the lives of others. I have tossed around a number of career choices but none of them seem to work. And now, suddenly and scarily, I feel out of ideas. I just feel empty. Worn out from it all. Does this make me weak? Maybe. Perhaps this is just a pause in my life. But more or less, this pause has gone on for three years. And I am done. I am ready for the answer or at least a partial response as to what I am supposed to do with my life.

To be honest, I have never felt so alone. Despite the fact that I have many good friends close by and my beloved family is only two hours away. But your 20s is a strange, lonely period. Everyone says it's the greatest time of your life because you are young, vibrant, carefree with little to tie you down. But I don't think this life suits every person. Some of us like the constant connection and duty of answering to someone, be it your parents, your spouse, or your children. I have missed having someone depend on me - account for me. This young singleness sometimes means that I can go a whole day without speaking to anyone or having anyone expect me to be there. It's a weird and wrenching thought.

Right now I could pretty much do anything, go anywhere. I have few ties to keep me to this place, which I suppose is liberating, but mostly, it feels scary and not positive at all. These feelings - I can't figure out if they are wrong or if I should let them guide me to where I can be happy.

I know that everyone feels this way at some point in their life. But right now, I think I just need to feel out of place. The quote at the beginning of this post is where I am: hiding the best parts of myself. I know this is it. And now I just need to figure out a way to get myself back into the sunlight. I want to stretch myself to its very limits - to my full potential. But I suppose I need to take life as it comes to me.

Image found here.

Ethereal

Autumn's ethereality (I make up words sometimes - I am an English major and licensed to do that). Her translucent image connotes the haunting qualities of the approaching Halloween holiday and a season where things tend to fade away. Peace is in this image, a natural solitude that I have not seen nor felt in some time. Boston city life rarely affords such moments of peace but I carry on with the hope that I will some day inhabit a place where that unbroken, natural silence pervades once more.

Image found here.

Foodzie Delicious

{Yummy Halloween Carmel by Have It Sweet}

Well, I am finally back from a whirlwind trip to San Francisco! It has been quite an odyssey full of thrilling adventures, wonderful people, and LOTs of rain (a typhoon, really) that kept me on the West Coast a bit longer than I expected (not the worst place to be stuck, I'll admit)! I will write more about my trip (including some dazzling photos) but for now, I wanted to share a find I made while reading a copy of BUST(a super mag for women who have things "to get off their chest") that I picked up at the airport. BUST had a little blurb about Foodzie, which is essentially the small, independent food sellers' answer to Etsy. I can already tell this place is going to be the end of my meager bank account because everything looks so delectable!

{Peanut Butter Cookies with Mini Peanut Butter Cups by Annie the Baker}

{Maryland Crab Soup by Angelina's Crabcakes}

Image found here and here and here.

Leaving On A....

I'm packed up, stacked up, cracked up. Ready to leave this place and start a new view, fresh and clear. Oh, what a world we live in - so full of love and other things that get in the way. Enjoy this time, little friend - it is all yours! Happy weekending!

Image found here.

At Last

This post consists of indulgent gushing over The Office and the marriage of Jim and Pam! I've watched these two for many years, and in a silly way, they feel like family. In this world where relationships struggle to stand the hazards of contemporary times, I find their relationship refreshing (despite the obvious fictional idealism) and inspiring. It's a tribute to the show that so many people admire the bond and love shared by a shy receptionist (well, not any more) and an awkward salesman. The normalcy of their situation makes it seem all the more attainable by those of us still looking for our "Jim."

Image found here.

Good Eats

I admit that I haven't read Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food yet, but it's moving to the top of my list this week as I contemplate about the food I consume. Timothy Egan's recent column sparked my thought on the level of artificial elements I put into my body. His diatribe is rich with references to local farms near his home in Washington state that make me yearn to live in the country once more. While it's great that he lives so close to such plentiful and pure food sources, what do the rest of us do who a) live in the city where fresh produce unadulterated by a profusion of pesticides is hard to come by and b) are on a meager budget brought forth by these uncertain times in which we live?

One solution is to have a produce box full of locally-grown foods delivered to your home. I have been thinking of splitting one of those produce boxes from Boston Organics with my roommate, Emily. I try to hit up the local farmer's markets whenever I can, but surprise, colder weather has arrived in Boston and many of those markets are now closed for the season. I do want to make a greater effort to be more thoughtful about the food I purchase versus grabbing the nearest bunch of spinach. Sometimes it easier to laugh off things like pesticides and artificial ingredients because they are invisible and the food tastes so good (Poptarts, anyone?). However, I worry that all these chemicals will one day manifest themselves in health concerns for me and my as-yet unborn children.

Egan is right: there is nothing so nutritious and delicious as a naturally grown apple freshly picked from the tree and it is my hope. Many of famous chefs like Alice Waters, Mark Bittman, and Jamie Oliver support fine cooking with organically-grown produce. Organic food should be mainstream and not connote the cuisine of the affluent, upper class. I want to be more responsible about my eating habits and continue the dialogue on healthy eating. My dear friend Stefanie just started a wonderful food blog, A Journey Through Food, that chronicles her experiences with healthy cooking. Also, I enjoy reading Cait's Plate, which always provides such interesting, healthy meal choices. Check them out for some yummy, good-for-you dining ideas!

Image found here.

Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play

Dear Prudence open up your eyes
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies
The wind is low the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?

***

"Dear Prudence," The Beatles, The White Album 1968 * Image found here.

"May I Have This Dance?"

There is something so romantic about waltzing. Ever since I was a little girl, I find a certain thrill from seeing couples dancing in a ballroom - the women begowned in gorgeous flowing silk dresses and the men looking sharp and regal in their tuxedos. I once heard someone say that "waltzes are for old people." I beg to differ. The waltz is the ultimate expression of passion. In the dance, it is only you and (hopefully) your love as the world dissolves into a spinning oblivion. There are moments I feel that I was born in the wrong era, wishing instead to be born in a time where I could attend balls and wear fancy dresses. Below are some wonderful waltzing moments, many are favorites from my youth.

{"Shall We Dance" with Yul Brynner and Deborah Kerr in The King & I (1956)}

{Judy Garland has her "last dance" in Meet Me In St. Louis (1944)}

{Hayley Mills and Peter Brown in Disney's Summer Magic (1963)}

{Pierre August Renoir's Dance at Bougival (1883)}

{Pierre August Renoir's City Dance (1883)}

{Audrey Hepburn and Rex Harrison dancing to the
Embassy Waltz in My Fair Lady (1964)}

{Louis Jordan and Leslie Caron in Gigi (1958)}

{And I had to include at least one waltz scene from a Disney movie, Sleeping Beauty}

Images found here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Style Icons: Emily Blunt and Ellen Page

I am simply loving the chic professionalism of Ellen Page's look on the set of director Chris Nolan's Inception. How far she has come from Juno. This movie looks really intriguing (the teaser trailer is here), sort of a psychological thriller. Next, we have Emily Blunt on the set of The Adjustment Bureau, looking so sharp with some lovely black tights, boots, wool coat, and red leather messenger bag that really pops out from the whole outfit! I am envious! This movie looks interesting as well - a sci-fi/romance film about a congressman and a ballerina (my kind of cinema)!

{Ellen Page on the set of Inception}

{Emily Blunt and Matt Damon on the set of The Adjustment Bureau}

Image found here and here (via JustJared).

A Good Act?

Today, while running with my friend, Anna, we began discussing our different volunteering experiences and the motivation behind our service. In this conversation, I admitted that sometimes I feel pretentious in performing these actions. It’s an ironic feeling when I know that what I am doing is culturally defined as good. What bothers me, perhaps, is the context of my actions. I am a Caucasian woman of privilege. My family is decidedly middle class but as an only child, I received all the attention and resources that my parents could give. I was raised wanting for nothing and told that I could take on the world with no limits. I had choices and oysters galore. That is fortune right there.

However, many of my volunteering experiences have involved mentoring to individuals of a different race and ethnicity who were not given the same advantageous view. To be quite frank, I am white and many of them have been black. And it makes me uncomfortable. I feel patronizing though that has been the farthest thing from my intent. I wish honestly that I could give some of my chances to those who have struggled. Those who weren’t given the opportunities they so richly deserve.

There is so much pain and history around race relations in this country, in this world, and I feel it when I am meeting with my mentee, who I am currently helping apply to college by editing her essay and advising on the application process. She’s such a smart, witty, talented girl who has so much potential but also has many challenges, chiefly that she comes from a large Ethiopian immigrant family who is still learning the cultural norms and understandings like how to help their daughter get the best education. Her parents love her and want the best for her but they are scared of trying new things and meeting new people -- scared of difference. The Ethiopian family unit is tightly knit and not about giving children the independence to make their own way in the world. My mentee has come a long way in trying to convince her parents to allow her to have opportunities that, while scary for them, will benefit her experience and enable her to achieve the dreams she chooses. Can you tell I admire this girl and wish her the very best? I do.

This little essay is not meant to stir up controversy -- I know how volatile talk of race can be. But I think it's worthwhile to think a bit on why you volunteer or maybe, why you choose not to volunteer. I only meant to reflect on the context of my actions and motivation. I volunteer because I want to give back what I have been given. I expect nothing in return. Well, I enter with the intention of expecting nothing except maybe the knowledge that my time has benefited another. And I have benefited in that way. Time with my mentee fills my life in the little empty places that often need it. As Burma's democracy leader and political prisoner, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, once said, "If you're feeling helpless, help someone."

All in all, I think in the matter of volunteerism, less reflection on the context of the actions and more doing of the actions is a better practice. This world needs more action anyways. With that, I am off to proofread my mentee’s essay that has arrived recently in my inbox.

Quote from Daw Aung San Suu Kyi found at Brene Browne's Ordinary Courage.

Style Icon: Bright Star's Ruffled Collar

{Fanny Brawne and John Keats stroll through the English countryside}

I've just seen the Jane Campion film Bright Star, a story about the love affair between the British poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne, a young woman of the middle class. It is a beautifully-captured film that makes me long to be back in England once more. The movie reveals the simple pleasures of a rural English life in the late eighteenth century where one diverts by reading a well-written novel, sewing a finely-stitched item of clothing, engaging in a witty repartee with one's neighbors, and appreciating the gifts of nature in all its seasons. The film is rich with Keat's poetry, vivid characters, a representation of a strong family, a passionate love story, and...ruffled collars! Ruffle collars are so feminine and delicate, yet also powerful and regal. Fanny is a fashionista, crafting all of her own stylish clothes. In particular, she prides herself on her fashioning of ruffled collars. I have selected a few fetching examples from the film as well as some contemporary versions. Also, if you couldn't already tell, I highly recommend this film!

{Fanny's off-white ball gown has three tiers of ruffles}

{Fanny stitches her three-tier ruffle collar in the solitude of her room}


{A sweet little ruffle collared jacket}

{I have this J.Crew blouse!}

{My as-yet-to-be purchased France Ruffle blouse from J.Crew}

Image found here, here, here, here, here, and here.

A Voice Like This

Oh, that I could sing like this. I don't have anything close to her voice, or her history that you know feeds the passion behind every powerhouse note. I am humbled and full of catharsis whenever I listen to her most famous number from George Cukor's 1954 film, A Star Is Born (shown below in three simultaneous takes based on the director's wardrobe considerations). The song makes me want to sit in a dimly lit room, alone and drinking straight gin while dwelling in that love that got away.

Judy x 3 from Julie Talen on Vimeo.

Image found here and video found here.

A Field Of Blue

Feast your eyes on this stunning picture of Abbie Cornish as Fanny Brawne in Jane Campion's new film Bright Star (in theaters now). Have you ever seen such stunning blues? There is something so soothing and peaceful about this shot -- it makes me wish to be in her place, reading a well-written note (perhaps a love note), surrounded by such a vibrant natural palette of colors. The movie is filmed from the perspective of Fanny and her love affair with the young British poet John Keats. I love period dramas and based on Ty Burr's positive review, I will be seeing this film very soon!

Image found here.

Little Lights

I have a penchant for little lamps, perhaps because they are a decorating inclination of my mother (both her house and elementary school classroom are sprinkled with small lighting fixtures), but also because they cast such a soft, cozy glow! Growing up, our house was never completely dark for there was also some electric candle burning in a window or one on the corner of the kitchen counter. To be quite frank (I know I am really quite an Emily -- okay, bad joke), I cannot abide overhead lighting -- it gives me a headache and I find it sterile and uninspiring. As we move into the autumnal months, I want to turn off all the overhead lights and start the room a-twinkling with a little lamp here and a little lamp there! Below are some sweet scenes that feature some wonderful uses of little lights:

{A small kerosene lamp on the bureau in Anne's room at Green Gables, PEI}

{A close-up of some sweet little lanterns}

{I love how this wall lamp is tucked under the wall of bookcases -- a perfect reading nook!}

{Little lamps dispersed around the room}

{A petit homage to twinkle lights - like the ethereal blue ones on
Zooey Deschanel's bed in 500 Days of Summer}

Images can be found here, here, here, here (courtesy of Vintage Mint), and here.