May 14, 2011
I am impatient for things to happen. So sometimes I pretend that they have already happened. Like when I walk down the street, I sort of pretend I am someone else. I pretend that the one man I have always loved finally loves me back. That I am a diplomatic attaché currently living in Washington, D.C. between posts. That I am fluent in French, Spanish, and Arabic. And that I finally published that novel ruminating in my mind since I was 14. I feel the truth of all these things. And I feel better for a few brief moments despite their actual fallacy.
I suppose it's easy for one to dream and yearn about such things. I have so much luck and now I want to stretch that luck further towards the above items. But then I wonder if any of these dreams are right or selfish? I do not wish to be a creature of discontent. I have been that creature and I hated myself for it.
So, here I am, hoping for a richer experience and knowing that such an experience can only be found through my own invention. And so off I go to invent!