May 17, 2009

Two Years

Two years ago (approximately) I graduated from college. I never imagined that I would be reflecting so much on my college experience. I suppose I underestimated how defining that time has been on my character. I chock this up to a classic trait of mine of learning things the hard way and often failing to appreciate something until it's no longer there. Anyways, I cannot believe that two years have already passed. However, I feel very different from who I was at that time.

For many months after graduating, I missed the college scene, the classes, that sense of being in a community with young, like-minded people. That first year was one of the hardest my relatively young life. I adapted to a full-time professional job, living with random people, and coping with the fact that I wasn't really a kid anymore. Although I had several good friends close by, I had never felt so alone as I did in that first year. It was as if the carpet had been pulled out from underneath me and my body did not handle the impact very well.

In this post-grad life, I felt so confused about my direction, hating that I was still in Boston after so many had moved on with their life. I have tried to move away several times and was never able to work it out. I found a decent job in market research, where I still am today, but this job means nothing to me except that it helps me pay my rent every month. In many ways, this job has made me less intelligent. I was tired of school by the time I graduated but now I feel like my mind is too lax and idle. After years of moving forward, I have been standing still for two years, uncertain and wary about my next move. I have been stagnant and now I am done. You don't need to know what you're going to do with your life when you graduate from college but there comes a point when you need to stop sitting on your ideas and start acting on them. This is my new life momentum and hopefully, it will produce more interesting results in my life.

Another key learning from my post-grad life has been that relationships are imperative to survival. After a year and a half of living with random people, with whom I failed to connect (with the exception of the amazing Jenna!), I moved in with some dear college friends and finally found that sense of connection in my home that I lacked for so long. In David Brook's recent column about the Grant Study, a research project that tracked the lives of a group of male Harvard graduates from the 1930s to gauge human happiness. A key finding was that relationships are key. Joshua Shenk, who ran the study has this to say about his participants: "Happiness is love. Full Stop."

So maybe, in the end, it must be more about the people you have found than the things you do. I am still trying to figure out what I will "do," but I am certain that I have been blessed by wonderful parents and stellar friends and they must always be a part of my life!

Senior Week 2007

New Year's Eve 2008

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