February 3, 2008

Becoming Sydney Bristow

ALIAS is an amazing show, or was, before it was canceled after five seasons, which was actually right, since the fifth season was weak and convoluted. Vaughn was killed off and missing for most of the season, and when he returned, the original Sydney/Vaughn chemistry was missing, which, for me, defeated the whole point of the show. JJ Abrams creates marvelous shows that don't really last that long, which in part, contributes to their greatness, Felicity, Alias, and now LOST will only have 48 more episodes or another two seasons.

I often ask myself why I love ALIAS and think that Sydney Bristow/Jennifer Garner is so awesome. When I look at Sydney walking into a club in a beautiful gown, the epitome of tough and sexy, and then subsequently kicking the ass of a thug or terror lord. She's strong, smart, alluring, everything that I aspire to be as a woman. But also, she shows her vulnerability in those moments when we see how dysfunctional and conniving her family can be. She is able to balance both femininity and self-confidence in a way that I, as a woman, can only dream of doing. I admire her ability to maintain this balance, showing both glamour and comfort in her life.

I believe I think too much about my image, about how I appear to others, how I act, the tone of my voice (is it too deep? too high pitched?). If I wear a baseball cap, do I see more masculine? I rarely go anywhere now without eye makeup on and hair straightened, contacts in. I remember myself as a freshman in college with curly dark brown hair, no make up and large glasses. By the time I was a senior, I had blond, straight hair, contacts, and a whole new make-up routine. There are times where this image appears right for me, I have changed so much, grown so much. But then there are times where I feel like I should not try to fix my image so much. I suppose everyone, even Sydney Bristow, fixes how she looks. Actually, Sydney spends most of show in other "aliases" and Jennifer Garner is always playing other people in movie's, assuming other lives. In that way, I think we are all CIA agents and actresses, constantly going under cover and assuming roles of people whom we admire and aspire to be, turning out to be an amalgam of all of these people.

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